If you hide from yourself the truth hurts no less

I found out that I am NOT a 34C, like I’ve thought ever since I got out of college and started buying my own bras.  Pretty much before that I wore this one set of Victoria Secret bras my mom bought me and sent to me as a care package when I was 15.  Or I wore no bra.

I actually really like no bra best, but not in a slutty way.  If I can wear a shirt that’s like a tank or something that kind of keeps everything held together I will because that’s when I feel most comfortable.  But then again the woman giving me my fitting asked me if I had children.  (as you know, i do not).

Iris Lingerie @ 366 Atlantic, underneath Kimera clothing store is where you can get a fitting too, if your’e into doing this kind of thing in public.  Although the store is more like a nook and there’s not really anyone else in the store expect for you for some reason.  It seems like there’s some rule that there’s only one person that’s allowed in the store at once.

It turns out that I have some kind of concave thing that some women have that makes it difficult to get a bra to sit flat in the center. That kind of made me feel grossed out a little, like there was something there I should want to fix.  To me that represents a folding in, a hiding, a scarcity, a hole, something to fill.

My tendency is to find a meaning in almost anything, whether or not there is meaning there to be found.  The good part is that there’s always another through line to anything that’s happening in real life, an invisible string that seems to tie things together even when you’re not dolling out the thread.  The bad part is that there’s a constant yearning to figure out what it all means which takes one, like me, away from what’s happening in the moment.

Iris says that’s just what some women have, and it’s up to her to find a bra that works no matter what kind of funny thing your body throws her way.  She puts all my info into the computer so that she can be on the lookout for other styles that will fit.  I walk out with a nice bra that I won’t wear that much because that’s my other tendency, to hold off on pleasure as long as possible because there might be some time when I’ll really need it and it will be gone and then what.


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